


Die Trying

by thesoundofnat



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 15:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3387257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin never expected to love his sister’s sons as much as he does. He vows to be the best uncle he can be and give his nephews a home. A real home. Erebor, to be exact. He wants to reclaim Erebor and give Fili and Kili a real home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Die Trying

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently found out that Thorin had a brother, Frerin, who died long before the novel took place. I then made myself sad by picturing Thorin watching Fili and Kili being so close, and remembering his own brother. So I wrote Thorin’s first meeting with his nephews, because it was bound to be love at first sight, albeit painful.
> 
> Originally posted on my tumblr: thesoundofnat.tumblr.com

Thorin remembered the day Dis, his younger sister, gave birth to Fili. It had been a merry day, so many years after the dwarves’ exile from Erebor. Thorin hadn’t felt such joy in ages. Not since the dragon came, and especially not since his younger brother, Frerin, lost his life.

60 years had passed without Thorin even so much as cracking a smile. Being driven from Erebor had been tough, but his siblings had helped him regain his strength. When one of them was suddenly gone forever Thorin almost lost himself.

But his sister’s joy was contagious, so he’d been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the little one. A boy with wide, curious eyes and almost golden hair came into their miserable lives, and Thorin was enamored from day one. After hours of pain Dis finally held her little boy in her arms, tears glistening in her eyes as she shushed his weak cries. She looked happier than Thorin had ever seen her.

He observed the scene from the sidelines, not being entirely sure if he was allowed near them yet. But when his gaze met his sister’s she smiled and bid him over. He walked up to her slowly, his movements tentative, as if scared to startle the little one.

“Brother,” Dis said, her voice trembling. “Meet your nephew. Meet Fili.”

Thorin looked down at the little creature; hairless and delicate, as newborns are. He’d stopped crying now, lying still in his mother’s arms.

“Do you want to hold him?” Dis asked.

Thorin nodded, slightly hesitatingly. When he felt the almost non-existent weight of his nephew in his arms he broke into the most genuine smile he’d ever worn.

“Hi, Fili,” he whispered, feeling as if he’d never be able to take his eyes off of the baby. “I’m Thorin, your uncle.”

As he listened to Dis’ joyful laughter he felt as if things would maybe be okay again.

Things, of course, weren’t okay, but the presence of a dwarfling made it easier. It gave some sort of meaning to their endless pain. Thorin would never be able to settle down until he could freely wander the enormous halls of his home once again.

But Fili’s needs became a priority in his life. He wanted to give his nephew as good a childhood as possible with the circumstances. He wanted to be a good uncle.

He never expected to fall in love a second time.

Merely five years later Dis was expecting again, and this time Thorin was prepared. He was at her side constantly, yearning to help. If such wonderful creatures came from such excruciating pain, the least Thorin could do was try to make it slightly more bearable for his sister.

Little Fili was at his heels the majority of the time, babbling happily about getting a little brother.

“It could be a little sister,” Thorin reminded him.

Fili wrinkled his nose in a skeptical manner before breaking into a toothy grin. “That’s okay. I will love it anyway.”

Thorin just chuckled and ruffled his hair.

When the day finally came Thorin was going out of his mind.

“Do you need anything?” Thorin asked for the hundredth time. “Anything?!” He was then promptly kicked out of the room.

He stayed close to the nursing room, pacing back and forth. For the first half hour Fili was pacing with him. Then he got tired and started wailing, asking why it was taking so long. That was the first time Thorin got the urge to shout at him.

He didn’t though, but merely picked him up and spun him around a few times. “You took an entire day to arrive,” he said as Fili squealed with laughter. “You’re in no position to complain.”

“But uncle Thorin,” he whined once he was set down. “I want to meet him now.”

“So do I, little one, but we must be patient.”

Fili had gone to bed before the baby arrived, but when it finally did Thorin gently carried the sleepy child in his arms, bringing him to his mother and sibling.

“Fili, wake up. Your little brother is here,” he murmured softly into his hair.

“Brother?” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

Thorin smiled. “Yes. Brother.” He lowered his nephew to the ground, watching fondly as he carefully stumbled over to the bed.

“Mommy, is that my brother?” he asked timidly, peeking at the bundle in his mother’s arms.

Dis smiled, looking exhausted. “Yes, Fili. This is your brother, Kili.”

Kili. Thorin observed the two brothers and felt a wave of sorrow hit his heart. A longing for his own brother, who had been taken from this life way too soon.

Dis saw the pain in his eyes, he guessed, for she reached out for him, her hand hanging in the air until he grabbed it with his own.

“He would’ve been so happy,” she whispered.

He nodded, his breathing heavy. “He would’ve. He also would’ve been upset that you didn’t name any of them after him.”

Dis gave a watery laugh. “There can only be one Frerin.”

“Who’s Frerin?” Fili asked, having stayed quiet during their conversation. His finger was in Kili’s hand and they both seemed to be content to have it remain that way.

“He was our brother,” Dis told him. “He left a long time ago.”

“When will he come back? I want him to meet Kili.”

“It’s not a journey you can come back from,” Thorin replied, his voice smaller than it had ever been.

“That’s dumb. Why would you want to be away from home forever?”

Why indeed.

When Dis eventually asked if Thorin wanted to hold the new addition to the family he had been quick to hold out his arms, being utterly used to holding dwarflings now, thanks to Fili. As he cradled the small creature, seeing how it still held onto Fili’s hand, he thought of Frerin once more. This had been them once. Thorin had also been five years old when his little brother had arrived. He didn’t know if he should cry or laugh at the coincidence.

“Do you love him, uncle Thorin?” Fili asked, looking up at him with his big eyes.

Thorin smiled. “Yes, little one. I love him.”

Fili grinned hugely. “I love him, too. I will love him until I get very very old and die.”

“And he will love you right back,” Dis told him, running a hand through his hair.

As Thorin looked adoringly at the little dark haired boy in his arms he vowed to reclaim Erebor and give his nephews a home. A real home.

Even if he died trying.


End file.
